The Velvet Hammer™ -

Trial day 1

Instead of doing her usual acrobatic routine, Nala is curled up around my feet.  On the little rug in front of the sink.   I glance up at the little crystal clock on the shelf.  It says 6:10 which means it is 7:10 since the clocks sprang forward Sunday.  Haven’t changed it yet.  The mental math keeps me sharp.  Or so I tell myself.

On goes the regulation black.   Black jacket.  Black tights.  Black boots.  Black skirt  with little ruffles.  The only color is a non-color on the shirt.  Flesh toned I guess, in a shade several tones lighter than I.  With rouching  and gathering to soften the severity.  Of my black hair. 

I leave my rings on the little metal hand stand next to the orchid on the counter.   There are only two of them.  One is a pretty piece of jade from an antique shop on Royale Street in New Orleans.  The other is my best friend pinky ring.  Shellie and I have matching ones.  We do pinkie finger shakes wearing those rings.  I always wear them.  But not for this trial.  Because my right hand is covered with a big band aid.  The story involves  E.J. my six year old nephew and Nala, but that can be told another day.

After dropping Nala off at doggie day care, get on the freeway.  Head to Everett.  This will take 45 minutes.  Plenty of time to practice opening.  Or conceptualize voir dire.  Maybe review testimony of the first witness.  After all, Steve Hay asked me to try this UIM case not quite a month ago.

It is raining.  Gray.  Too quiet in the car to listen to these thoughts.  So turn on The Appeal by John Grisham.  The narrator is real good.  Am transported to Mississippi. 

Park.  Ride up the elevator.  Walk a few steps across the courtyard to the entrance.  There are no security lines around the ugly courthouse.  Sorry if you’re from Everett.  But that courthouse is about the ugliest thing have ever seen.

Make it to presiding and the court has just read our name.  Don’t care, because Steve (Hay) is covering this.   He waves at me.   We get assigned out within five minutes.   I get up before I even sit down and we head up to the fifth floor dept. 12.

Now there is a reason why I’ve just spent so long telling you about trial day 1.  When we aren’t even in the courtroom yet.  You’ll see soon.

We get there and our judge is Marybeth Dingledy.  (pronounced Deengel ‘ die) What a fantastic name.   She is very direct, prompt, makes sound rulings on the motions in limine, has a twinkle in her eye.  That’s all good.

So what is the problem.

Well, the Allstate attorney Jodi says that she won’t agree to simply calling a panel of 29 prospective jurors.  She’s worried there could be bias against Allstate, so she wants 35.  Problem is there are only 29.  We need to wait to see if any jurors are going to be released from the other voir dire panels around the ugly courthouse.

So we wait.

And wait.

Each lunch. 

Come back and wait.

And wait.

Until finally at 2:30 pm Jodi cries uncle and agrees to go with whatever number there is.

Which turns out to be 31.

And then we wait for them to be brought up.

And for the judge to swear them in and do preliminary instruction and voir dire.

Which means that by the time I start voir dire – it is ten minutes until 4:00 p.m.

Can you imagine how upset those jurors must be.  I see a lot of lips turned down Mr. and Ms. grumpy pants.  And don’t blame that all.  29 of 31 have been sitting in the jury room all day long.  Waiting on us.

Oh, this is going to not go well at all.

I put on a smile and start in. 

Have you ever been to a comedy show  where the audience doesn’t laugh.  Or at a music concert  where instead of people loudly clapping for an encore, they just leave.  Or at a legal education seminar where people are reading the news on their computers and texting on their phones.

Well, that’s what it feels like when you start voir dire at 4:00 in the afternoon of a jury that’s been waiting for six and a half hours to start.

In the words of Winston Churchill which I keep quoting to my children.  “Never. Never. Never give up.”  So smile.  Push forward.  And complete the first 20 minute round of voir dire.  By the end these folks are loosening up.  Talking and shaking their heads yes and no.  Sometimes smiling.  They are getting into it. 

Then Jody stands up.   And starts to give a closing argument in the guise of voir dire.  Which is not really even in a guise at all.  She asks a series of questions which requires everyone to nod yes.  She doesn’t have them say or explain anything.  She just wants them to agree with her.   Does this ever really work.  This technique of pseudo-brainwashing.  Well, maybe.  But not today.

Do you agree Allstate should  investigate and look at all the facts and circumstances before they pay a claim.  Yes they nod.

They may not be getting anything out of this.  But she is.  Her voice is getting stronger.  She’s  becoming impassioned.  Says:  Allstate has a right to look into the…

And at that point, I interrupt and lob an objection.  Sweetly.  Which the court overrules.  Graciously.

Rick Friedman would be sighing and telling me Karen Karen Karen.  What have I told you about objecting so much. 

Am unrepentant.  It needed to be done.

Jody is thrown off.  Actually she probably comes out of her trance and realizes, the jury is just about totally asleep.   It is now 4:20.  She’s gone 10 minutes.  She calls a sidebar and offers to end her round of voir dire early.    Says the jury is flat.  Well, no duh they’re flat.  I’m about asleep myself.

So we end the day. 

Photo:  This beautiful courthouse is the Grays Harbor Superior Court building.  The Snohomish County Courthouse is the opposite of beautiful.

On the next page they demand all emails for the past six months. 

Isn't it ironic that they say "please."

This ladies and gentlemen, is what your friendly neighborhood defense lawyer will slap you with when you file a lawsuit against (in this case) a governmental entity.

Good trial lawyers tell pretty good stories. 

Mistrial by Mark Geragos and Pat Harris is a nonfiction book of pretty good short stories tied together with a more lofty agenda: addressing  the institutional erosion of the defense of reasonable doubt.

Here are the good things about the book:  It is written in a punchy attention grabbing style and the stories are of the sensational variety.   Both lawyers know what they're talking about.

They lay out their insights - bam - right between the eye brows.  Like this:

[V]ery few young men and women who graduate from law school will ever try a case.  Some of them end up in areas of law where trials are virtually nonexistent, such as intellectual property or antitrust.  Others go into large law firms where they are never the ones allowed to actually try a case.  But many are frankly just too scared to do it.  There are a large number of lawyers, many calling themselves trial lawyers, who are petrified of going to trial.  You can identify the really nervous ones because they are always the biggest blowhards, screaming and threatening that if they don't get what they want the will just go to trial.  Invariably if you look at them and say, "Okay, let's pick a jury," they fold like a cheap suit.

That really is quite clever. 

They go after obnoxious people.  Like Nancy Grace.  Even though I don't watch t.v. at home, I've been unable to escape her many nights on the treadmill at the gym.  They lay it all out there like this:

Grace was once a Georgia prosecutor known for being tough and for committing multiple acts of prosecutorial misconduct.  "Prosecutorial misconduct" is legalese for saying she lied and cheated.  In fact, appellate courts in Georgia found that she had committed prosecutorial misconduct three separate times in a nine-year career.

So the book is quite entertaining.   

Yet one of the authors' missions is to change the way people think about the criminal justice system.  To heighten awareness as to its increasingly lopsided nature.  And to perhaps influence future jury pools. By reminding them of the importance of proving beyond a reasonable doubt.

This doesn't happen.  It can't happen.  Because the authors are dedicated fighters for the defense.  The book is written to highlight their point of view.  It is not subtle.  It doesn't pretend to be objective.  And as all trial lawyers know - people won't change their minds just because you tell them to. 

This one gets a B-.  It would have been better if Geragos and Harris could have spent more time on it.  But hey - they're in-demand trial lawyers.  So the fact they squeezed out any time to write this is deserving of applause.

In this deposition, the defense attorney accuses me of being unprofessional.   So what do you think.  Was it okay for me to stand up to my client.  Or should I have let him continue down his path without interfering.  You be the judge.

14   Q     Then what other treatment did you have following that?      
15   A     I went to the knee specialist at The  Clinic.        
16   Q     Who did you see at The  Clinic?                      
17   A     There was two different doctors.                            
18                  MS. KOEHLER:  Why does the knee even matter?  She's
19         not claiming that either accident caused the knee injury.   
20   Q     You can go ahead and answer.                                
21                  MS. KOEHLER:  We'll get you the records.           
22   A     Yeah, you can just get the records.                         
23   Q     I'd like to know where you went for treatment.              
24   A     The  Clinic.                                         
25   Q     All right.  And do you recall the names of the physicians   
                            75
 1         there?                                                      
 2   A     I don't.                                                    
 3   Q     And then what other treatment did you have other than the   
 4         hospital?                                                   
 5                  MS. KOEHLER:  Objection; irrelevant.               
 6                  MR. B:  That's not a proper objection.  You  
 7         can object to form.                                         
 8                  MS. KOEHLER:  Objection; form, irrelevant.         
 9   Q     You can go ahead.                                           
10   A     It was just the knee.                                       
11   Q     What's that?                                                
12   A     Just the knee.                                              
13   Q     Just the knee?  I don't understand.                         
14   A     I guess I don't understand your question.                   
15   Q     My question's not that difficult.  What treatment did you   
16         have other than The E Clinic and the walk-in clinic   
17         and P Hospital?                                    
18   A     For my knee injury.                                         
19                  MS. KOEHLER:  Wait.  Don't.  You don't need to     
20         disrespect the witness.                                     
21                  MR. B:  Excuse me?                           
22                  MS. KOEHLER:  By saying that your question's not   
23         that difficult?                                             
24                  MR. B:  I'm not disrespecting the witness.   
25                  MS. KOEHLER:  That was very disrespectful.  Like,  
                            76
 1         Are you dense?  My question is not that difficult.          
 2   Q     My question is pretty clear.  What treatment did you have?  
 3         You don't understand that?                                  
 4                  MS. KOEHLER:  I don't know why you're getting so   
 5         agitated about the knee that's not even related.  We've been
 6         going over another hour.  We can take a break as soon as    
 7         you're done with your line of questioning.  She's tying to  
 8         cooperate.                                                  
 9                  MR. B:  You're the only one being            
10         obstructionist.  I'm trying to get very basic information.  
11                  MS. KOEHLER:  Be nice to her.                      
12                  MR. B:  What is relevant and what is not     
13         relevant is not up to you to decide.                        
14                  MS. KOEHLER:  Like I said, be polite.  You're now  
15         being very aggressive.  Be polite.  That's all I'm asking.  
16         You're leaning over the table.  You're getting red in the   
17         face.                                                       
18                  MR. B:  I've been right where I've been the  
19         whole time.                                                 
20                  MS. KOEHLER:  Ask a question.  Find a good place to
21         stop.  We'll take a break.  We've been going an hour.       
22   Q     Can you just answer the question, ma'am?  It's a very basic,
23         easy question.  What treatment other than the ones that     
24         we've listed did you have for the right knee injury with    
25         your dog?                                                   
                            77
 1   A     The right knee injury with my dog is for my right knee with 
 2         injury with my dog.                                         
 3   Q     That's not my question.  Please listen carefully to the     
 4         question.                                                   
 5             What other treatment have you had other than what we    
 6         just talked about for your knee?                            
 7   A     For my knee related -- you're not asking me a question      
 8         that's very clear.                                          
 9                  MS. KOEHLER:  Right now maybe we've -- because     
10         we've been yelling at each other, now we've maybe confused  
11         the witness.                                                
12                  MR. B:  I haven't been doing any yelling.    
13         Can you read back the question, please?                     
14                       (Pending question read back.)                 
15                  MS. KOEHLER:  He just wants a list of your medical 
16         treatment.                                                  
17                  THE WITNESS:  Medical treatment for my knee?       
18                  MS. KOEHLER:  For your knee.  Any kind of medical  
19         treatment you've had for your knee.                          
                                     
***  [Witness goes through her knee treatment for a couple minutes]

                      MR. B:  What kind of therapy, if any, do you think you are going to 
13         need for your knee?                                         
14                  MS. KOEHLER:  Object to the form.                  
15   A     I don't have any idea.                                      
16   Q     There's been no discussion about that?                      
17   A     They've got to wait.                                        
18   Q     Do you think you'll ever walk again?                        
19   A     These are really unrelevant (sic) questions to this whole   
20         thing.                                                      
21   Q     Ma'am, can you just please answer my question?  It's        
22         really --                                                   
23                  MS. KOEHLER:  Honestly?  Will you ever walk again? 
24         Come on.  Let's go take a break.  I asked to take a break   
25         four minutes ago.                                           
                            80
 1                  MR. B:  You asked when I was done with this  
 2         line of questioning, if I recall correctly, and I'm not done
 3         with this line of questioning.                              
 4                  MS. KOEHLER:  Asking her whether she's going to    
 5         walk again, that's really ridicules.                        
 6                  MR. B:  Why?                                 
 7                  MS. KOEHLER:  Give me a break.                     
 8                  MR. B:  Are you serious?                     
 9                  MS. KOEHLER:  Are you serious?                     
10                  MR. B:  Yeah, I am serious.  She's got a     
11         plate and screws in her knee.                               
12                  MS. KOEHLER:  Oh, my gosh.  Since when did that    
13         prevent someone from walking again?                         
14                  MR. B:  Well, we haven't seen the records,   
15         have we?                                                    
16                  MS. KOEHLER:  Oh, please.                          
17                  MR. B:  I've never seen anything like this.  
18                  MS. KOEHLER:  I've never seen anybody act like     
19         you're acting.  What has she done to you?                   
20                  MR. B:  Nothing.                             
21                  MS. KOEHLER:  I know.  Be nice to her.             
22                  MR. B:  What's wrong with you, Counsel?      
23                  MS. KOEHLER:  If you were asking a person that     
24         actually had a spinal cord injury if they were ever going to
25         walk again --                                               
                            81
 1                  MR. B:  I'm going to move to strike Counsel's
 2         comments from the records.  They're totally inappropriate,  
 3         they're irrelevant.                                         
 4                  MS. KOEHLER:  Just be polite to the witness and    
 5         finish your questioning.                                    
 6                  MR. B:  Excuse me, please.                   
 7                  MS. KOEHLER:  Go.                                  
 8                  MR. B:  I don't want to be interrupted again.
 9         If I'm going to be interrupted again I'm going to call the  
10         judge.                                                      
11                  MS. KOEHLER:  Call the judge then.                 
12                  MR. B:  Please don't interrupt me.           
13                  MS. KOEHLER:  Please call the judge if you feel you
14         need to.                                                    
15                  MR. B:  I will, but I'm asking you politely  
16         not to interrupt me.                                        
17                  MS. KOEHLER:  Then be polite.                      
18                  MR. B:  Nothing happened here until you got  
19         involve.                                                    
20                  MS. KOEHLER:  I've been involved since day one.    
21                  MR. B:  Until you got involved in the middle 
22         of legitimate questioning when you all of a sudden decided  
23         it wasn't good enough for you.                              
24                  MS. KOEHLER:  All right.                           
25                  MR. B:  So stop it and let me ask the        
                            82
 1         questions.                                                  
 2                  MS. KOEHLER:  I can't wait until the next one.  Go 
 3         for it.  Continue.                                          
 4                  MR. B:  Thank you.                           
 5                  So can you read back the last question, please?    
 6                       (Pending question read back.)                 
 7   Q     And you said you don't know, is that right?                 
 8   A     I hope so.                                                  
 9   Q     And then she objected.  She didn't think it was a very good 
10         question.                                                   
11   A     I don't think it is either.                                 
12   Q     But you don't even know whether you can or not.  If it was  
13         such an illegitimate question, why can't you answer it?     
14   A     Well, I think that's really rude and hurtful, too.          
15   Q     Well, you're suing my client for injuries.                  
16   A     Not for this knee.                                          
17   Q     But you can't work and you're claiming lost wages, aren't   
18         you?                                                        
19                  MS. KOEHLER:  We're not claiming lost wages for the
20         period of time -- we'll stipulate right here that she's off 
21         of work for her knee.  We're not claiming any lost wages for
22         the period of time she's off of work for her knee.          
23         Stipulate.                                                  
24                  MR. B:  We don't know when that is, do you   
25         we?                                                         
                            83
 1                  MS. KOEHLER:  I'm stipulating it right now.        
 2                  MR. B:  But we don't know how long a period  
 3         of time that is until I ask the question, do we?            
 4                  MS. KOEHLER:  Well, we'll know when the doctor says
 5         she's out of a wheelchair and able to stand on her feet.    
 6                  MR. B:  And do you know when that is?        
 7                  MS. KOEHLER:  You are being so abusive right now.  
 8         Did you hear my stipulation?  I'm going to stipulate on the 
 9         record.                                                     
10                  My stipulation is:  We stipulate that the knee     
11         injury caused by her dog was not caused by either motor     
12         vehicle collision, number one.                              
13                  Number two, we stipulate that all of the medical   
14         care rendered for her knee was not caused by either         
15         collision.  We will not be making a claim for any damages   
16         for that medical care financially or otherwise.             
17                  Number three, the period of recuperation for her   
18         knee that she's off of work we are not claiming as part of  
19         the motor vehicle collision injuries.                       
20                  Number four, we're not claiming any pain and       
21         suffering relating to her knee as a result of the injuries, 
22         period.                                                     
23                  MR. B:  Up until what time?                  
24                  MS. KOEHLER:  I said the entire time that she has  
25         the knee problem that's preventing her from working.        
                            84
 1                  MR. B:  And you can't tell me when that is;  
 2         right?                                                      
 3                  MS. KOEHLER:  Let me see.  If I was God, maybe I   
 4         could.  I think that's a pretty good stipulation.           
 5                  MR. B:  It's an easy question, Counsel.  You 
 6         can't tell me what it is; is that right?                    
 7                  MS. KOEHLER:  Can you tell us when it is?          
 8                  MR. B:  That's why I'm asking the question.  
 9                  MS. KOEHLER:  The doctor doesn't know yet.         
10                  MR. B:  We just found that out, didn't we,   
11         because I asked a good question.  Now, if I hadn't asked the
12         question, we wouldn't know.  I think we're making progress. 
13                  THE WITNESS:  Can I take a break now?              
14                  MR. B:  Yes.                                 
15                  THE WITNESS:  Thank you.

Postscript:  After the deposition ended, B and I kissed and made up. 

Photo:  At the Louvre.