The Velvet Hammer™ -

Back when I was an  defense lawyer, this is how the firm got business.  The partners golfed with, rubbed shoulders at clubs with, went golfing and to four star dinners with insurance and corporate key persons.  The firm maintained these relationships and periodically was able to build a new relationship with yet another company.  These relationships could last for decades. 

Marketing is a kind of dirty word for plaintiff attorneys who represent “the little people.”  We don’t want to do it (or at least most of us don’t want to).  But we need to let the public know who we are.  Otherwise, they’ll simply call the lawyers who bark the loudest.  Through tv ads.  Or billboards.  Or even in some gross cases – by direct mail when there’s been a disaster. 

Fly down to Vegas  to go see what Lawyernomics has to say.  Expect to be surrounded by rabid marketers.  Instead, am rather pleasantly surprised.   Because for every two super aggressive widget counters, there is someone who simply wants to figure out how to shine their light.  Plus the speakers are really good. 

Visit with Kevin and Colin O’Keefe – their company Lexblog.com houses this blog.  Chat with Mark Britton and the folk from Aavo – lawyers ignore this consumer focused site at their own risk.  Listen to Sam Glover of Lawyerist.com give my favorite talk of the conference.  Since he reads it, here it is:

http://lawyerist.com/why-your-blog-sucks-and-what-to-do-about-it-lawyernomics/

But wait.  It’s not quite over.  The woman in the front row gruffly warns people not to believe Sam.  She doesn’t like the recommendation that a blog be separate from a law firm website.  She charges:  I did it your way. But after seeing hardly any result, I moved it back to my website and it zoomed up Google rankings.

Sam blinks and says:  I don’t care.

Yeah.  That’s the right response.  

Because most lawyers who write blogs are doing it to get business.  The focus is on moving up google, or getting clicks. 

Not in writing something that people actually may want to read.

So why waste your breath.

Photo:  Kevin O'Keefe and I at the conference.

Once upon a time four young lawyers decided they hated practicing law.  So they became comedians.  Part of their gig involved creating a podcast.  Which they needed content for. 

One day one of the comedians, Matt Ritter,  saw that The Velvet Hammer blog was the number one trial practice blog for the ABA.  He thought that was neat.  Called.  And the rest is comedians at law podcast history.

What is nice about this format, is that it is totally random and interactive.  Real time.  No rehearsal.  No script.  No telepromters.   Unlike heavily scripted and edited t.v.  We go at it until time is out.  

Here is the  Episode:  http://comediansatlaw.podomatic.com/entry/2013-02-10T21_40_13-08_00.     Velvet Hammer starts halfway through.

Cristina asks if she can come along to the new client interview.  It is her first time.  We drive to the nursing home. 

The woman is relieved to see us.  Her family is with her.

On the one hand, am happy that can provide reassurance and help.  There are so many fears and questions when one has been in the hospital/facility for over a month.  

On the other, it is sad to see people who are hurt and scared.  As the woman tells us her story,  can see Cristina looking down trying not to cry.  My eyes well up, but am able to keep tears from dripping down face.  Not always able to do that though.  Which is okay.  There's nothing wrong with letting a hurt person know that you hurt for them.

John has given me a packet that has a retainer agreement, intake form, and authorizations.  Don't pull them out of purse until about an hour has passed.  Then this is what happens - don't let the woman sign them.  Even though she wants to.

Suppose it is because of disgusting "ambulance chaser" label that people put on personal injury lawyers.  But especially when meeting someone in a hospital or nursing home.  Don't like the visual image of having them sign papers while the attorney hovers over their shoulder. 

Instead, tell them to spend time with the documents.  At least spend the night thinking it over and making sure everything feels right. 

Is there a risk the person may talk to another lawyer and go with them.  Sure there is.  But then that means we were never meant to be together.

We stand and are getting ready to leave.  One of the relatives asks for a business card.  Our cards are quite nice.  Double sided with a pretty logo.  They are however, not in purse.  Go through the motions of digging for them.  But unlike the lawyers on t.v. do not have one to whip out.  Two of the relatives are laughing as they give me their cards.  Meanwhile, find a pen and write my phone number on the paperwork.

Suspect that many lawyers who read this blog will think am doing this all quite wrong and/or am quite bonkers.   Perhaps.

But the next day, the woman calls and sends in her paperwork.  And it feels good to know she chooses me because she really wants to.  Not because I've pressured her even one tiny little bit.

Photo:  Cristina many years ago.

I'm driving home from work, trying to bypass the Mercer Street mess (if you live in Seattle, you know what that is).  I go south over the viaduct go through the stadium district up Edgar Martinez Way (if you are a Mariners fan you know who he is) come to a stop light.  I'm waiting to get onto I-90.  Settling into a zen-like state as part of traffic aggravation-avoidance strategies, when I almost swallow my gum.  Ok, understand gum chewing is probably not a good thing do to when in search of Ooooohm.  But I like popping bubbles.

Anyway, am in near zen-like state when a Metro bus rumbles by and on the side emblazoned in horrific larger than life glory is an ad for 1-800 dial a lawyer.  I start gagging and manage to catch the gum before it sticks in my gullet.  The last business I saw advertising on a bus was the plumber - Don't go Freakin' call Beacon - a catchy jingle I must admit.  Give me the plumber any day.

Now I've been to many other states where lawyer advertising puts little ol' Washington to shame.   Tacky billboards pollute the landscape usually along the freeways.  Injured? see us.  Accident? see us.  We'll get you money for your injuries.  On and on and on. There are some attorneys in WA who have sprung for the few billboards available.  But the side of a bus?  Does that mean cabs are next?  Shudder!  And don't get me started on t.v. attorney ads.  They are an abomination, tacky, gross and I detest and hate them.  Did I mention, that I don't like them...

Enter the internet.  The new wild west.  Attorneys are notorious for being way behind in terms of technology.  And so roughly 95 percent of us are just going about our business while 5 percent are either dabbling in or hiring people to dabble in the internet.  Of those 5 percent there is a small percentage who are determined to grow their practices essentially overnight through facebook, twitter, blogs, ads, websites, SEO and other internet media devices.  And that small percentage is ruining it for us all.  They are smearing our reputation.  Who needs anti-lawyer ads during political campaigns when this small group of lawyers is doing so well to turn the public against us.

The worst offenders are the personal injury lawyers.  My people!  They grab tragic headlines and stick them on their websites to boost their google rankings.  They feature important cases in a way that makes it seem like they are their own when they are not.  They puff themselves up so far that they should really go float off into the sunset - if only...  Other lawyers try to distance themselves.  Those are PI lawyers, we're business lawyers they say.  Um sorry.  A lawyer is a lawyer and we are all being lumped together in one big pile of doo.

I'm all for freedom of speech.  I believe that lawyers should be able to promote themselves.  But what happened to the codes of conduct that say we should uphold the dignity of our profession.  That we should adhere to the highest ethical standards.

Everytime I'm in trial picking a jury, rude comments are made about money grubbing lawyers.  The jurors are prejudiced and biased against us in a terrible way.  The ads on billboards, tv and yes buses represent public dis-service announcements.  They hurt us, they hurt our clients, and they hurt our society.

I loved Thumper in the Bambi movie.  And when I would say something mean usually to my sister Debbie, my mother would make me repeat Thumper's line time after time after time:  If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything nice at all.  But, I'm sorry.  The bar associations are standing by watching the carnage done to our reputations, quivering in the shadow of the first amendment. So I'm saying it - loud and clear.  Because I am entitled to say whatever I want.  Too.